Saturday 23 April 2011

Stumpy vicar loses electron (8)

LOOK RIGHT LOOK RIGHT LOOK RIGHT LOOK RIGHT LOOK RIGHT LOOK RIGHT LOOK RIGHT LOOK RIGHT LOOK RIGHT LOOK RIGHT LOOK RIGHT LOOK RIGHT



Evil procrastination monster-6.02*10^23
Me-1

Yes, that's right I actually got one over the evil procrastination monster. Most people normally complain that they spent more time creating their, soon to be ignored, revision timetable than actually revising; but i didn't have that problem. LADIES AND GENTLEMAN YOU ATTENTION PLEASE, over the next fIw lines I shall reveal to you my technique.


Wake up
fool yourself that you are going to revise before breakfast and then go on facebook, bbc football gossip and rewatch Benji and Jamie's vlog post from the previous day ( i didn't say i'd beaten the procrastination monster just that i'd scored)
breakfast whilst watching sky sports, who if you hadn't noticed have celebrated their 20th anniversary.
ACTUAL REVISION (hour and a half)-past paper probably maths
ACTUAL REVISION (half hour)-mark the past paper (this is the best revision possible because you learn what the examiners want you to say because more often than not they want you to say the wrong thing)
Turn on Fifa
Play Fifa
Turn off Fifa
Turn fifa back on for just one last game
five games later, turn fifa off
Lunch
ACTUAL REVISION (2 hours) -second past paper + marking. (it is obligatory to have facebook and fifa ultimate team trade pile open during this time)

it's now only about five o'clock and you can enjoy the rest of your evening by doing things such as:

go  on sky sports, did you know it's their 20th anniversary
WATCH THE NEW DOCTOR WHO OMG IT STARTS TONIGHT WE SO EXCITED WE WE WE SO EXCITED* (tommorrow is sunday and the day after that is monday by the way)
watch doctor who confidential
watch benji and jamie's new vlog post
go back on sky sports, who are incredibly celebarting their 20th anniversary

for the answer to the title, which is apperently not allowed to be called cryptic
go herehere or here

that's all folks (cue bugs bunny eating carrot)

*yes I did just quote rebecca black on my blog-may the procrastination monster haunt me for years to come

Tuesday 19 April 2011

Holy shit it's a post-and a ridiculously hypocritical one at that

In the beginning there was nothing, and the big G was bored so he made our world.

Unfortunatley, a snake came along/Pandora's box opened/the big G decided to be spiteful because he was pissed with Eboue and so sins were released into the world. There was Hatred and Jealousy and being a united fan but at the end of the day you could put up with them.

This angered the snake/some stupid prick opened Pandora's box again/ the big G remembered about last sunday's game and so one last sin was released into the world. This sin would plague people for all eternity. It's favourite pray was a  16-25 year old with homework due in the next day. It was the evil procrastination monster.

Well, I declare an end to this abuse; I solemnly swear that for the rest of my life I will fight back; I will go to sleep without reading every single article on the bbc; I will infact do the 50,000 past papers I have to do; I will win!!!!!



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SHIT





I've just stayed up to write this blog






I give up. Procrastination will haunt me as it haunts millions of youths. I'll join the slap bet too.